Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Changing My Point Of View

Recently, I've come to the fact some dreams of mine might be changing.
Let me paint the scene for you.
At school, for graduation, there is a list of juniors that get picked to "page" for the DAR Ladies that come to the awards day and graduation.
Yesterday, I found out I was going to be one. I was very excited about this.
Another big thing is that the top 3 Juniors get the honor of carrying in the flags( American, State of Alabama and National DAR Flags) at Graduation.
As of right now, I have taken two AP classes: Chemistery last year as a sophomore and AP US History as a Junior.
I am the only Junior who has taken any AP classes.
We get a grade bump because of this.
I thought due to the fact I have all As and am the only one to have taken AP classes, then I must be number one.
I had worked my butt off, thinking I was.
But no.
This is not the case.
I'm not number one, or two or three.
No, I'm 6th.
I was very very upset about this.
I'll admit it, I cried when I got home.
Was it stupid and petty?
Am I still kind of mad about it?
Yeah, a little.
Do I understand why?
Nope not one bit.
 But, I can't change it.
No matter how much I'd love too.
So after I cried and got my feelings out, I've taken time to reexamin things.
I'm going to keep working my butt off.
I'm also going to step back and maybe change my plans.
My plan has always been, be number one and head off to Alabama.
But maybe, that's not how it's supose to be.
So, I'm going to try another way.
Four times, I've taken the ACT. 
The First time was in April of my sophomore year, my score: 27
2nd time, September of Junior Year, my score: 28
3rd Time, Feburary of my Junior Year, my score: 27
4th time, April of my Junior Year, my score: 28.
At that point in April, I was through, I felt that I wasn't smart enought to do any better so why bother trying again.
But now that I've decided to open my options to more.
Well I know I have to get my math score up from a 24 to at least a 27. No question in that.
A 30 will get me full tution at Alabama. A 32 full everything.
But is Alabama where I really want to go?
Or is it just because it's where my family has always told me I wanted to go?
I recently encourtered that question and the fact is, I don't know.
I had always planned on Alabama because that's where everyone on my mother's side of the family went.
It's where they all told me I was going.
But maybe I should look somewhere else.
I've looked at other schools (BSC, Vandy) but not with an open mind.
Maybe I should check out some of the schools that really seem to want me.
Ole Miss emails me all the time.
and I'm getting things daily from Mississippi State.
And right now, well it doesnt seem like Alabama wants me to bad.
Maybe I should look at these schools that seem to want me.
In the end, I know it will work out exactly how its suppose too.
It may see really fuzzy right now but I know there's a plan, the doors might be closed, but I know if I look hard enough, a window is open.
For now all I can do is kick ass and take names.
I adore you all.
Thanks for always reading.
Knowing ya'll are reading really makes my day!
Talk to you soon,

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly what you mean. All the uncertainty of this time in life is killing me. I know where I want to apply, and I just want to get started so I can figure out where I'm going already!

    My biggest reach in terms of schools is UNC Chapel Hill- it's SO hard to get in out of state. I'm a pretty well rounded applicant, but I can't stop wondering (for all of my schools really) 'am I good ENOUGH?'

    The best thing to do if you're uncertain about where to apply is just research, research, research. Look at as many schools as you can ( is a BIG help) and get a feel for what you like and what you don't like. What you realize might surprise you.

    And if you get stressed, just think, this time next year, you'll be committed to a school and about to Graduate!

    Good luck with your search!